Convicted Hearts Cannot Remain Silent
No More Silence
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
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What is my name?
So, according to my mother, there was not much debate or discussion on what my name was going to be. My Father had already said His first boy would be a Junior. Thanks, Dad. I do not like being a Junior. I constantly have to worry about the names getting crossed to the point of the IRS calling me wondering why I did not claim a chunk of money earned on my tax return. I think I would remember 7k. But there aren't many people who could forget my name. For that I am thankful...most of the time.
1"I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber.
2The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep.
3The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.
4When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.
5But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice."
6Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.
7Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture.
10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
11"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it.
13The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
14"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me--
15just as the Father knows me and I know the Father--and I lay down my life for the sheep.
16I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.
17The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life--only to take it up again.
18No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."
When I hear my name being called, there have been times the voice was distinct. However, in most cases, I am caught up in other things such as work, or my own hobbies and family, that I do not hear him. I am so glad He calls for us over and over....
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
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Why can't I just be me?
As I search the scripture to find my way through this journey, I come accross a little nugget in Hebrews. The world tells me I am who I am because of my experiences and genetic code. Is that all I am? I want to do what I want to do. Why am I curbed by what the world says is ok, then torn by what the Scripture says is not.
Hebrews 12:1-3
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
So who am I? What makes me me? If I do what Paul tells us, then no more of doing some of the things that make me who I am. Why should I sacrifice for a God who has only shown himself once in history? What has He done today that I should even believe He is real?
Hebrews 11:1-3
1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
2This is what the ancients were commended for.
3By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
Faith is so crazy. There is nothing I can touch, taste, smell, or see that can prove my faith is not in vain. Yet, as a human, I have the need to have proven to me that my life exists for some reason. But it seems that I my faith really is not my own nor is my life..I am so confused!!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
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Can I do This?
So I was accused of being narrow minded today because of some of my views, and the more I think about it, I believe I might be. In my Faith Journey, I discovered something today. If I am to be like Christ, doesn't that mean that I would have a set of do's and don'ts to adhere to on a daily basis. Certain things society may deem OK, may not actually be OK in the Lord's eyes. Because I openly claim to be Christian, my words, actions, and even thoughts are scrutinized not just by myself, but every unbeliever I may encounter (and even some of my brothers and sisters). It is those thoughts that lead to my words and deeds.
So how can I be sure that I am doing or saying the right thing?
2 Corinthians 10:5-6
5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
6And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.
This is one of those times that I get pissed. In verse 5, I am supposed to make all of my thoughts obedient to Christ. Yeah, Right! I have consciously tried this on numerous occasions and I inevitably find myself calling God's name in vain and not in prayer. I think thoughts of anger and hate before love, especially in these times of people dying every day be they Americans, Spanish, Iraqis, etc.
Verse 6 really spoke to me today in light of the Nick Berg murder. Please pray for his family as well as all innocents hurt on both sides during this conflict. Basically Paul gives us the green light to punish disobedience. My first thought was that of anger and retaliation for Nick's death and that they should die. I feel that is not for me to decide because of the last part of that verse. once your obedience is complete. My imperfections as a human do not allow for me to be 100% obedient and therefore I have no right to desire their death. I am not God and therefore cannot pass judgment. This is what frustrates me about the Faith Journey: There are times that you feel as if you have reached an impassable brick wall and there is no definitive time frame for which the Lord opens your eyes to the way in which to knock it down.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
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How embarrassing
So, on my way home from work, at a stoplight, I stopped before a bank entrance so that traffic coming to or going from the bank could flow. There was a good two car-lengths between me and the next car. I was always taught that this was a good practice and that it flows with the law of not blocking an intersection.
So traffic is about 7 cars in front of me and about 9 cars behind me. I am in the left lane and the car in the right lane next to me obviously had the same practices I did cause he was even with me with two car-lengths in front of him. There is a turning lane to my left.
TWO cars come up the turning lane from the line of cars behind me and stick their nose in the space I have left for the bank patrons. Basically "cutting" in line... In the process, a car was not able to get into the bank and had to wait until those cutters moved on. I am glad that the guy next to me felt the same way I did. Even though the light was green, we waited for the bank guy to go before we continued.
Yeah, Dana, So what! Well, the guy that had to go to the bank had a Calvin sticker urinating on an ichthus (<><). The two people that cut, had Shoreline (a large Christian church in Austin) stickers on their car and an Ichthus. Is the hypocracy in this country so great that we have people flaunting their Christianity on their cars, but their actions showing something different. Is it just our sense of entitlement as Americans, that we feel we are somehow more important than anyone else?
Matthew 22:36-40
36"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'
38This is the first and greatest commandment.
39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Sometimes it seems Christians make being a good witness very difficult. Where was the love from the cutters?
Monday, May 10, 2004
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I get so cocky sometimes, full of myself, thinking I know better or I am the best at something, so on and so forth. There was an instance just this weekend where i felt my skills were somehow more suitable for the Lord than someone else's. I have got to be the biggest freakin' hypocrite ever!!!
I am not going to look my savior in the face on the last day and tell him that i deserve to be in his presence any more than the next person. The fact is, grace has nothing to do with how "good" a person I am (later blog). So how can I grow spiritually? Focus on my strengths. WAIT! I have been doing that already, but due to my sinful nature, I have turned that into garbage.
2 Corinthians 12
9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
So my weaknesses would be my strength? That is crazy talk.
But, What is it I do about my weaknesses? What do I do at my weak moments?
I am in prayer at those times. I am in conversation with Him about those things that I keep hidden. It is in that great moment of Weakness that I feel closer to Him than ever before. It is in those times that I realize my strength does not come from myself, but Him through me. Ahhh, there's the real Strength.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
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Holier than Thou.
THE number one, #1, numero uno reason non-Christians are turned off to Christianity has to be the "I am better than you" attitude. Everyone has either heard it said or has said it themselves...I am better than you....or maybe it was an attitude or a tone in your voice or inflection, maybe just a look or your walk...
Mark 2:23-28
23One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and as his disciples walked along, they began to pick some heads of grain.
24The Pharisees said to him, "Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?"
25He answered, "Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need?
26In the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions."
27Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
28So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath."
Here we see two people of the "same" faith. The Pharisees are trying to call out Jesus in going against the laws of Moses. HOLD ON! Don't get crazy....I know what you are thinking..."But we are supposed to hold each other accountable." YES, but is this something we do in front of the world? You see, Holding someone accountable, as Christ does to the adulteress at the well is a one on one experience of love and care. Calling out your brother or sister in public, well, is that going to help or hinder that person's walk? Also think about the perception of the non-Christian. I have heard it said in a conversation I was a part of..."You are trying to teach me about Christianity, and you two Christians cannot even decide what is a correct interpretation of your Scriptures.....?
I open this issue for discussion....
Friday, May 07, 2004
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GUILTY!
Hopelessness. This is how the unwilling see our God. A law oriented, Holier than Thou God who cares more about his reputation than us. A God that though Job knew had blessed him, was now trying to question His reasoning and will.
Job 9:14-18
14 "How then can I dispute with him?
How can I find words to argue with him?
15 Though I were innocent, I could not answer him;
I could only plead with my Judge for mercy.
16 Even if I summoned him and he responded,
I do not believe he would give me a hearing.
17 He would crush me with a storm
and multiply my wounds for no reason.
18 He would not let me regain my breath
but would overwhelm me with misery.
Whew! Why would anyone want to serve such a God? Sounds more like a dictator than a Father! But wait...There's more....
Here is another tasty chunk from Job 31
1 "I made a covenant with my eyes
not to look lustfully at a girl.
2 For what is man's lot from God above,
his heritage from the Almighty on high?
3 Is it not ruin for the wicked,
disaster for those who do wrong?
4 Does he not see my ways
and count my every step?
5 "If I have walked in falsehood
or my foot has hurried after deceit-
6 let God weigh me in honest scales
and he will know that I am blameless-
7 if my steps have turned from the path,
if my heart has been led by my eyes,
or if my hands have been defiled,
8 then may others eat what I have sown,
and may my crops be uprooted.
Why in the world, since I have choice, would I serve a God that gives so easily and then takes away in the same breath!?
Oh, here is the Father part...
The LORD Speaks
1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:
2 "Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
4 "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
6 On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone-
7 while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?
8 "Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
9 when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
10 when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
11 when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt'?
12 "Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
13 that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?
14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.
15 The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.
16 "Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death?
18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.
19 "What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?
20 Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
21 Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!
22 "Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
or seen the storehouses of the hail,
23 which I reserve for times of trouble,
for days of war and battle?
24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
and a path for the thunderstorm,
26 to water a land where no man lives,
a desert with no one in it,
27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland
and make it sprout with grass?
28 Does the rain have a father?
Who fathers the drops of dew?
29 From whose womb comes the ice?
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
30 when the waters become hard as stone,
when the surface of the deep is frozen?
31 "Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades?
Can you loose the cords of Orion?
32 Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons
or lead out the Bear with its cubs?
33 Do you know the laws of the heavens?
Can you set up God's dominion over the earth?
34 "Can you raise your voice to the clouds
and cover yourself with a flood of water?
35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?
36 Who endowed the heart with wisdom
or gave understanding to the mind?
So here is our Dad laying down the SCHMAQ! I remember questioning my earthly father, not Christian, about decisions he made regarding me, and this is very familiar. There is not much commentary I could feebly try to add, the verses speak for themselves, but I will point out one particular point in verse 36...The very mind we use to conjure doubt is the same mind He gave us, the problem is that we try to use our mind's intelligence to decipher God, not our heart's wisdom to understand Him.....
Thursday, May 06, 2004
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With everyday that passes, there is a new challenge that stands before us. That challenge against faith can effect us in basically one of two ways. You can either allow for it to stir conflict and doubt what you know to be the truth, or you can use it to seek the truth even more. Unfortunately, we are sometimes blinded by what our heads say is rational or logical. Faith is not always going to make sense. We are not meant to understand everything. God is a loving and jealous God. He wants us all to himself. When we begin to assume we know so much as to think we as humans created God, we then become the very thing we fight against. The Untruth. The Lie.
I have had an experience that was shared with 5 other people which proved beyond one iota of doubt that God does exist. That experience haunts my dreams at night. It terrifies me to know how weak we as humans are to the Spirit realm and how there are many souls that doubt that realm even exists. At the same time, the experience is fulfilling to know that God took the time to be with me and my friends at that ultimate moment of weakness....
Well, I have too much turbulence in my soul to continue to be quiet. Here you will find the twisting journey of a soul.